Extrospective

I had a literal and spiritual soaking time with Jesus last night. A hot bath with communion on a stool beside the bath and worship music in the background. I spent some time talking to Jesus and this is what I heard him say.

“What is the opposite of introspection?” 

I wasn’t sure of the answer and said I would look it up later when I got out of the bath- but the word “extrospection” was in my mind. I wasn’t sure if that was a real word or not or if I was just making it up. So I asked what it means and these thoughts came to my mind, I believe by the Holy Spirit.

– “Introspection is the process of looking inwardly and meditating on your inner world and what is happening inside of you but extrospection is the process of looking outwardly and seeing what is happening in the world around you.” I pondered this further and thought I would still look it up to check if it was a real word. I had been aware that in the past month I have been doing a lot of introspection. When I looked inwardly and didn’t like what I saw, I became morose and doubted myself. There were  times when I started to think very negative thoughts about myself.  Maybe I needed to be focused elsewhere.

Then I recalled a snippet of a You Tube clip I had heard during the day. Graham Cooke mentioned “the fruit of the Spirit is more powerful than gifts of the Spirit.”   But now in the bath, maybe the Holy Spirit was bringing this statement to my mind for a reason.  I started to meditate on the fruit of the Spirit. I remember someone once saying that there is really only one fruit and each of the things listed in Galatians 5:22-23 are the characteristics of that fruit.  Just like I can describe an apple as red or green, crunchy, sweet with a hint of bitterness, juicy, and having a specific aroma which is typical of the type of apple I am describing.  So in the same way the fruit of the Spirit has a lot of characteristics- love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control.  Each of these describes the fruit of the Spirit so we can get a picture of what it feels, looks, tastes and smells like.

I recalled Graham also saying something about self-control being the fruit of the fruit of the Spirit. I pondered this also and wondered why. Is it a chicken and egg metaphor? Which comes first? To show love I am demonstrating self-control but love is also the basis of the other characteristics.  I pondered- How can I be loving and unkind? How can I be loving and harsh? How can I be loving and unfaithful? How can I be loving and impatient at the same time?  I think love is the one characteristic that connects all the other aspects of the fruit of the Spirit. However when I demonstrate each of the characteristics- love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and faithfulness then self-control is also evident. I need self-control to demonstrate the others and I need love to be the primary characteristic. Love and self-control are like book ends to the other characteristics.

I recalled that in Ephesians 3:17b-19 Paul prays for us “I pray that you being rooted and grounded (established) in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”  And in 1 Corinthians 13:1b-3 Paul writes, “If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels but have not love I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames but have not love, I gain nothing.”  (NIV)

I realise that Paul is saying that love trumps the gifts of the Holy Spirit – tongues, prophecy, faith, wisdom, words of knowledge and miraculous powers (eg to resist the flames as Daniel’s friends did in the Old Testament).  So maybe the Fruit of the Spirit is more powerful than the gifts of the Spirit especially when we speak of the one characteristic Love.  Love trumps all gifts and is the most powerful force that God gives to us. The Apostle John in his letters wrote that God is LOVE- so it must be God’s most primary or basic nature. When we are grounded in love and start to grasp the unmeasurable love of God towards us, this empowers us to love others and become a conduit of love to the world around us.

When you experience the love of Jesus you are fully empowered to love the most unlovable person on earth. It is not hard to give away love when you have an immeasurable source of love being continuously poured into your life already. It may take small steps of practicing love towards the person but by first behaving in a loving manner towards someone who is hard to love, the feelings come afterwards. Love flows out from a place of already being loved perfectly.  I remember that in order to learn a new skill you practice it first.  Practice is not faking it. Practicing love is making loving actions towards a person whether you feel anything or not. Small actions of kindness, moments of showing patience, remaining faithful to a promise, speaking calm, loving words to someone who is anxious, replying with a gentle answer to someone who is angry, making good actions and choices during difficult and trying times can all be demonstrations of the fruit of the Holy Spirit. They are evidence of the power that resides within you – the very nature of God that is being formed in you by the Holy Spirit. The difficulty I have is that I don’t fully trust God’s love towards me- and this doubt robs me of the experience of being completely loved. My challenge is to walk in this love and grasp the connection with Jesus – the depth and height and width and length of God’s love towards me. On this Christian mindfulness journey God’s love is a powerful motivator and it satisfies my soul like no other.

I now recalled the word about extrospection (the opposite of introspection) and wondered how that fitted in with my rambling thoughts on the fruit of the Spirit.  In the past when I have thought about the fruit of the Spirit it was always with a sense of how I didn’t measure up to Jesus.  I was never loving enough, or kind enough, or patient enough etc.  I was being introspective and comparing myself with an impossible goal of perfection. What would happen if I stopped being introspective and intentionally became extrospective?  The love of God is meant to be given out. It is not to be hoarded. By changing my focus to outside myself, I see the world with new eyes and pass on what I have received but I also see myself differently- as perfectly loved and accepted by my God.